Why are there rifts in the LGBT community? Don't we need each other?

As an often excluded member of the LGBT community, I've noticed some things in the past 10 years or so...

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I've heard gay men be snarky about lesbians.
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I've seen lines drawn and distinctions made between "types" of lesbians or gay men.
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I've noticed confusion and prejudice about transgenderism.
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As a bisexual, I've personally been the target of discrimination and hurtful remarks from "strictly gay" folks.

Why do we do this to each other? Why are there these prejudices? I'm asking honestly, because I feel that a community that so greatly and so often suffers the slings and arrows of straight society ought to be as nurturing and protective of all its members as possible, rather than causing further hurt and harm.

So, to the gays and lesbians out there, what are your personal experiences that pertain to my concerns? Why do so many of you dislike bisexuality, or even any orientation other than your own? Have you had unpleasant experiences that are related, or is it simply a prejudice that has been passed along?

I will admit that for personal reasons, I'm particularly curious about the disdain and disregard with which many bisexuals are treated by the lesbian and gay community. We do feel left out, folks... what have we done to offend, and why can't we all just get along, eh?


fluffy-sauce response:

In my opinion it's all about heteronormativity. Bisexual and trans and all manner of other queer folk really weaken the position that the hetnorm parts of the community are building on. Just look at the focus on the fight for marriage, when ENDA would be such a bigger win in practical terms. What the public face of the LG community at large is trying to present the rest of the world with is "We're just like you. Monogamous, stable, consistent. Humdrum even. No crazy colors, no lisps, no femme men or butch women. We just like the same gender. It's not a choice". Acknowledging bisexuality and the reality of gender variance weakens that position. It's easier to get people to accept two very straight seeming men or women in a very traditional monogamous relationship than to accept that gender and sexuality aren't necessarily fixed, binary things for some people. It's harder to fight for the right to CHOOSE who you have sex with and how you will present yourself than to say "I have no choice, you should acknowledge us because we can't help what we do".

That said, I do believe that for the vast majority of us, there is no choice involved in our orientation or identity, only a choice of what to do with it. But really -- we have the RIGHT to be who we want, so the "it's not a choice, it's genetic" thing is a bit of an unprincipled cop-out.

I see alot of conversations, even on Reddit, like "Why are we even doing pride? It just gives the straight people more ammo against us, getting all lewd and strange in public". But if we're not fighting for that, what are we fighting for? In a much larger picture, we're fighting to keep society and the law from dictating what is acceptable in our lives and for the right to be ourselves, whatever form that may take.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. In my opinion, there are alot of other reasons for rifts and divides in the LGBT community, but I think this is the biggest at the moment.